Monthly Archives: May 2018

Urban Ed 75200: What Does Decolonization really look like?

The readings from the past two weeks have me thinking a lot about the act of decolonizing and all that comes with the process. It requires a great deal of work. I find myself having to train my thought process when I think about  it. Tiffany Lethabo King says that decolonizing will require misandry, misanthropy, and skepticism. These are all words I have considered to have a pejorative connotation, words/feelings I have been trained to stay away from when it comes to interpreting academic writing and research. Then, it dawned on me that we have been so consumed by colonial frameworks, that we don’t know how to operate otherwise so, that means there must be tension and struggle. We cannot overcome it without a fight. There is a real feeling of discomfort within this struggle, something that I have never felt before. It is different from the push back we get when fighting for social justice issues. Our society is used to people fighting for the rights of the marginalized, we can see it in how racism continues to adapt to the times but, fighting for a complete overhaul of the way we think and see people is something new.

Eve Tuck and K.W. Yang talks about this newness (I could not think of another word to describe the feeling) that comes with the work of decolonizing. It is something completely different. It is something that will always be uncomfortable because we cannot let it become  routine or be domesticated. The work cannot be tamed if it supposed to completely wreck the status quo. I need to get used to this discomfort; I need to be OK with being “unsettled” as Tuck and Yang say. While I can already see myself acting on my decolonial desires, I still have a ways to go. I feel like a part of process of fully accepting my decolonial desires is questioning my automatic tendency to want to find unity or harmony. I need to be OK with things (especially in academia) not connecting. I used to try my hardest to find myself in a lot of this old, stuffy academic writing and would be discouraged when didn’t see myself. There came a point a in time when I was so blase and uninterested in reading things written by old white men ( I still feel this way, honestly). King reassures me that I should not have reason or search for myself in the text because it was not written for me. She has made me realize that I have already been actively refusing the colonizer, refusing the Western mode of thought (decolonial desires are made in colonial settings, right?!).

I also read Bettina Love’s “Difficult Knowledge: When a Black Feminist Educator Was Too Afraid to #SayHerName”. While her focus of her article was mainly discussing how academia and the education system (along with other societal factors) have made it easy for us to forget the very real plight of black women, it also got me thinking more about the decolonial refusal. I think a part of the refusal King speaks about in her piece also involves the centering of black women. Love mentions how her young, female students can talk about the state-sanctioned killings of black with ease but rarely bring the murders of black women. Black death has become a natural part of our society. When we talk about it, we are usually only talking about black men. It’s like they are the status quo in a sense (a status quo that we always must address during the act of the decolonizing). We have been programmed to not think of ourselves (black women) and liberation at the same time. Decolonizing must also address that in ways that go beyond just demanding certain rights and liberties, right? What would a decolonized BLM protest/movement look like? Is the current M4BL (Movement For Black Lives) a decolonized space? Moreover, I am concerned about the extra labor that comes with having to manually center myself. Is the extra labor a part of the refusal process King discusses ? What would be a decolonized approach look like? Black women already do a large amount of the work in the movement; in a decolonized space is the work still on their backs?

 

CITATIONS:

King, Tiffany Lethabo. “Humans Involved: Lurking in the Lines of Posthumanist Flight.” Critical Ethnic Studies, vol. 3, no. 1, 2017, p. 162., doi:10.5749/jcritethnstud.3.1.0162.

Love, Bettina. “Difficult Knowledge: When a Black Feminist Educator Was Too Afraid to #SayHerName.” English Education, vol. 49, no. 2, Jan. 2017.

Tuck, Eve, and K Wang Yang. “Decolonization Is Not a Metaphor.” Decolonization: Indigeneity, Education& Society, vol. 1, no. 1, 2012, pp. 1–40.

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Urban Ed 75200- Testimonios

I thoroughly enjoyed reading and learning about Testimonios. It called to mind some ideas I have written about in past responses, in particularly, the idea of truth (who/what determines it) and its implications for black women in academia. For me, it seemed that testimonios were the collections of of the first hand experiences of Latina women. We all know that the voice and experiences of women of color have long been ignored. Yet, scholars are using them in their research and using them in a way that directly makes the experiences of women (of color) to be deemed as truth. I have heard of similar forms experience collecting that, akin to testimonios, requires deep reflection (and agency) of the participant and a solidarity and respect from the researcher.  In that sense, it reminds me a great deal of participatory action research just taken a step farther to honor the existence of the “subject” and their experiences.

In “Chicana/Latina Testimonios: Mapping the Methodological, Pedagogical, and Political” I got the same decolonial disruption (vibe) that I noticed in Tiffany King’s piece on posthumanism (“Humans Involved: Lurking in the lines of Posthumanist Flight”). Testimonios do indeed disrupt white supremacy (directly) in higher education. Testimonios disrupt because they challenge many things that academia employs to regulate, surveill, and deny women of color. Testimonios questions academia’s use of objectivity and challenges the idea of legitimacy. Take, for example, Papelitos guardados;  the authors describe it as something that is both a concrete and abstract concept of expression that is explored through testimonios. The very idea that something can be both concrete and abstract in academic research is almost baffling to me (because I have been brought up in a white supremacist educational system that rejects and negates this form of individual expression). Lindsay Perez Huber mentions something similar in her piece, “Disrupting apartheid of knowledge: testimonio as methodology in Latina/o critical race research in education”. She recounts a time when an academic colleague questioned her methodology and, in particular, the amount of qualitative data  (and her testimonio) she used in her study. They want us to not veer from their broken mold so badly!

I also loved her explanation of the apartheid of knowledge. It is obviously a tool of white supremacy. I just like the term apartheid of knowledge, I think it encapsulates the insidious denial of black and indigenous knowledge in academia. Huber says “The apartheid of knowledge that exists in higher education is much deeper than the marginalization of knowledge that falls outside of the mainstream” (Huber 641). It is much deeper than simple marginalization, it involves that tactics I mentioned earlier (regulation, surveillance, etc.) and more. I would even venture to say that it is violent. Huber says that through the documentation and studying of various testimonios, knowledge and theory are created. Testimonios are basically created outside of the academy; there is no universal definition (according to Huber); it employs the tradition of oral history (a concept that usually contested and questioned in higher education); is used to highlight injustice and bias in and out of academia. Lastly, testimonio creates and is the community. From what I have read, the “researcher” (I use that term loosely because it is not the same research-subject relationship) cannot and does not speak for the  women involved in the study; they are “co-constructors” of the knowledge. Considering the relationship between the women involved, I know for a fact that space they occupy to create these testimonios is very safe and empowering. It is a very dope response to the apartheid of knowledge. There is truth in us (women of color) and we will continue to mine and cultivate it  on our own terms and conditions.

 

CITATIONS:

Huber, Lindsay Pérez. “Disrupting Apartheid of Knowledge:Testimonioas Methodology in Latina/o Critical Race Research in Education.” International Journal of Qualitative Studies in Education, vol. 22, no. 6, 2009, pp. 639–654., doi:10.1080/09518390903333863.

King, Tiffany Lethabo. “Humans Involved: Lurking in the Lines of Posthumanist Flight.” Critical Ethnic Studies, vol. 3, no. 1, 2017, p. 162., doi:10.5749/jcritethnstud.3.1.0162.

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Finding Myself: The Bonner Scholar Program and my undergraduate experience

I would not have finished my undergraduate education if I was not fortunate enough to be a part of the community engagement scholarship program called The Bonner Scholars Program. Founded in 1990, the mission of the Bonner Program is  to provide “access to higher education and an opportunity to serve” for students in the program.  At the time of my graduation, the Bonner Program was in 22 small liberal arts college, spaces that are almost always completely white and wealthy. I, like all the other members of the program, came from immigrant, low-income backgrounds and households in which higher education was a far off dream. Bonner, along with our own talent, sweat, and skill, made that dream a reality.

I often refer to my undergraduate experience as time in which I acquired the my ‘life vocabulary’. Without tokenizing us, Bonner provided a space of nurturing, learning and growth for a large chunk marginalized students at my college.  I learned how to navigate spaces that weren’t made for me and own them as if I did. I learned that my mother was right, I had to (and will always have to) be better and work smarter than others. I lost what I thought was my voice and, somehow, found it in a place I hadn’t even thought to look. It was during undergrad that I was first asked “who” I wanted to be rather than “what”. And while my undergraduate experience was no where near perfect, I will be ever grateful for the space it allowed for me to learn who I was and who I could be.

In May 2013, Mother’s Day, I graduated from Allegheny College with a bachelors of arts in English and Political Science. Because of the Bonner Program, I had become a youth program manager in a community center of a low-income housing development; supervised a team of 4 regular volunteers; coordinated and implemented 3 educational programs and countless developmental activities for over 50 children between the ages of 3-18. These are not the experiences of the typical 22 year old college graduate. I was given an opportunity to take charge and use my agency and I shined.  Community Engagement was vehicle I used to reclaim the agency that has been taken from me over the years. It fortified my resolve and reminded me of the light I have within me and the power I have to determine my path.

The intersection of education, marginalized youth, and community-engaged teaching and learning is a passion of mine that has continued to balloon over the years into a career path and now a possible research topic for my graduate studies. There is something there, maybe a methodology or framework that can be studied and replicated because my experience is not unique. There are thousands of people from marginalized communities who can speak to the power of community engagement and their education.

 

 

 

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A work in process: What makes me tick

My experienceshave led me to this moment. I have continued to build the “life vocabulary” I first started at Allegheny. I have the skills and understanding of how the world works from my time as VISTA; and now, I’m filling myself with knowledge I need to truly become a decolonized scholar. I am by no means near my goal or know all the things but I’m getting there. As I get deeper and deeper into my graduate studies, I moving away from only being interested in researching community-engaged teaching and learning and its effect on marginalized youth into a wider frame of decolonized education for unheard and marginalized, black K-12 students.

 

I believe that a decolonized education requires community involvement and engagement. It necessary, along with youth agency (which also something I interested in studying) and the centering of Black women voices in these spaces as well. I have had a dream of becoming the professors who have changed my life. The ones who have challenged my thinking and incited a fire within me. The ones who didn’t see the academy as place separate from the actual community we study; the ones invested in black girls like me.

 

I am not sure how this will manifest itself as a research topic but I will be using this site to talk through these topics and questions in my various graduate classes, my personal writing (poems and journals), and my professional settings. This site will be my space to share my journey through this process. A professor who has changed my life said that if I should be able see myself or my share myself in the work that I am passionate about , as a black woman, if I wanted to. It shouldn’t be a revolutionary idea but it is.

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